Nice To Win

"[Being nice] signals the hell out of your maturity, humility, and general awesome."

Several days ago I dropped a comment in blogosphere that said, in part...

"It’s fine to attack a particular idea or action, but attacking a *person* or a group of people accomplishes nothing of lasting value, and most likely simply fuels an antagonistic response. Stressing in group/out group dichotomies and us/them identities simply encourages each side to further entrench themselves in their respective positions and engage in group-branding behaviors. Anybody (regardless of belief or group identity) who engages in these types of behaviors is probably bringing the collective social consensus about his/her group (and whatever they stand for) down."

That statement could be condensed to - Being an asshole is a losing tactic. This got me thinking... Do I care that you are not being nice because I believe in 'nice', or do I care that you are not being nice because you're exhibiting poor tactical judgment and I play to win?

There are plenty of pragmatic reasons to be nice. (Nice post!) Evolutionary psychology would have us believe that niceness is really selfishness in disguise. "[W]hat appears to be altruistic cooperation is only costly in the short term." If we suppose that inherently-selfish motivations drive all behavior, then I have to ask - Is it humanism if you're betting on 'nice' to win?

Perhaps I have my religious upbringing to thank for the nagging ideas that sacrifice is a virtue worth embracing, and that worthwhile belief-systems are supposed to encourage you to be something other than selfish. I have previously stated in this blog... "While HM2 extols empathy, compassion, and "the cultivation of feeling and love" as desirable virtues, it fails to provide a reason why these things should be cultivated, especially if their cultivation would threaten one's survival... What reason have you given me for behaving thusly, save that you recognize that these traits are something you want others to express? Why are these held up as ideals, rather than strength and power?"

Are humanists willing to declare that our collective survival and progress as a species depends on our ability to be 'nice' in the face of overwhelming individual temptation to behave otherwise? And as individuals, how do we make the choice to be nice? What can we reasonably be expected to sacrifice in order to uphold/display an ideal of 'niceness'? When does our obligation to the collective outweigh personal desire? Is it enough to be nice for selfish reasons?